I cried today. 

Not because I’m particularly sad, but because a sadness has a permanent home within me.

Waking at the strangest times, flooding my mind  and emptying my heart.

I miss you. And the love you gave me from the start.

And the promise that I’d always have a friend in you.

That I’d never have to swim alone, or push the cart myself.

A piece of me which can never be replaced.

A loneliness only a child can understand.

I smiled today. 

Not because I want to.

But because it happens as involuntarily as a blink of the eye.

When your voice echos in my mind, and face within my heart.

I saw you today.

In my sister’s quirks and brother’s ways.

In my Bella’s eyes, green as yours.

In myself, each day, more and more.

I miss you today.

As everyday.

For what you miss and words I can’t say.

You live today.

As you always will…

Through us all everyday.



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